Remember Me
by Emmmmmaniac
Summary: From death comes life. What will happen in light of Clarke's decision? This is the story of Clarke's and Raven's struggle to forgive themselves and be strong enough to forge a plan with Bellamy and the grounders to break their people out of Mt Weather. *SPOILERS* from mid-season finale. Bellarke slow burn.


_**SPOILERS FROM MID-SEASON FINALE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**_

_**I don't own any of this, except the storyline Okay? Okay. **_

_**Kicks off right from where the mid-season finale ended. This is what happens next after Clarke pulls the knife out of Finn and walks back into camp. From three different perspectives, Raven's, Clarke's and Bellamy's. I hope you enjoy **_

Chapter 1

"_From death comes life"_

As Clarke walked back into camp Jaha, she felt the weight of what she'd done. It was a weight on her heart that she'd only ever felt once before, the day she'd watched her father get floated. She could vaguely hear Ravens sobs, but not really, nothing could really be heard over the persistent ringing in her ear. If there was any fragment of her Ark-self left in her, it was gone. Finn had somehow managed to break her heart twice, but the second time, she knew it wasn't even his fault. It was hers. No matter what people told her it was her fault that Finn had killed those eighteen innocent grounders. He was looking for her. Even then Clarke knew she'd killed him in a way the grounders never would have, instead of watching his hands get ripped off and see him burned alive. This was the death he deserved. If anyone asked her why she might just lose it at them, tell them that if he hadn't have died all of them would've. Anyone except Raven.

When they'd been looking for answers Raven looked to Abby and Bellamy looked Kane for answers but Clarke had taken it into her own hands, that's what leaders do. When she'd walked up to Lexa she hadn't intended to be the one to kill Finn, she tried to offer herself and she meant it, she was ready to die in the place of him, that was something she would do for any of the hundred, Raven and Bellamy included. They were her people. But the look in Lexa's eyes told her all she needed to know, this grounder leader wasn't giving in until she had justice. So with the blade that Raven had given her to kill the same woman, she used to end her love's life. She held him as he took his last breath, those words etched in her mind. She would never forget him, for as long as she lived the space-walker would take up a large part of her heart.

She felt something touch arm, and as quickly as it was there, it was gone again

"Clarke-" She heard a familiar voice say

"No Mom, I- I need to be alone" Clarke picked up her speed almost running back out of camp toward what remained of the drop ship she'd originally been on. She was now in a small storage room, locked away from everyone who had just seen what she'd done. She tried not to take notice of how people immediately moved out of her way and eyed her cautiously as she'd ran back out of camp, they feared her. Fear was not something she wanted anyone to feel but let it go. It was at that moment that she truly let herself feel the weight of what she'd done. She was sitting in the place she'd first met Finn, when he was idiotically floating around out of his seat while they plummeted toward earth

"Why did you make me do that Finn?!" She screamed and kicked the walls and sobbed until she heard a voice and quickly silenced herself, she didn't want to be found

"Clarke?" This time it was a different one, the voice of someone who was with her ever step of the way "Clarke I came alone, it's just me princess" She knew it was irrational, but when he called her that she lost, bursting out of the storage closet with a wicked rage that she'd never felt before

"Princess? I'm not some fucking princess!" She screamed at him kicking something else down "I'm a murderer! I'm not in some fucking tower waiting for a goddamn prince to come and get me! In fact I just killed him. I did it! No one else. Not you, not my mum, not Kane, not fucking Jaha. ME! SO don't you dare come in here calling me princess" She got right up in face pushing him backwards but he remained where he was, unmoving as she verbally and physically attacked her. She felt arms weave around and pull her tightly restricting her movement and after a moment of fighting she stopped. She sobbed into his chest and felt him hold her closer gently lowering them to the ground

"That's what he called me Bellamy, right before he died, right before I killed him, he called me princess"

Bellamy knew where Clarke was going the moment she ran out of camp. She was going back to where it had all begun. Looking down at Raven who was still sobbing in his arms his heart broke a little, space-walker may not have been his favourite person, but he still didn't deserve to die and neither Raven nor Clarke deserved to get their heart broken like this. Raven pushed herself off of Bellamy and stood

"Where is she?" She asked, her voice harsh and distant. If he let her anywhere near Clarke it wouldn't end well, not at least until Raven had time to get her thoughts straight. Bellamy shook his head

"Abby, I'll go after Clarke, take Raven inside" With a dismissive nod Bellamy left camp Jaha only just hearing Raven protesting to Abby saying something along the lines of "I'll get in the damn ark myself" Shaking his head he broke into a run, ignoring the grounders that were celebrating only to be stopped by the leader

"You are also their leader. I have great admiration for Clarke of the sky people, hopefully one day I can feel the same about you" Lexa stated and Bellamy couldn't help but agree. Even though it was really Clarke who had done what needed to be done he was their with her. "And you love Clarke Griffin of the sky people" Again it wasn't a question it was a statement

"Clarke is my co-leader, We take care of each other with the same passion that we take care of the rest of our people, Why do you think she wouldn't let you torture Finn? It's not who she is. I request that none of your people follow me" He said, nearly seething at being held up for such a trivial conversation

"Watch yourself, I want this truce to work as much as you do but I will not be told what to do" In a similar manner to the way Bellamy had to Abby, Lexa gave him a dismissive nod and he did his best to ignore Finn's body, the still motionless body of his comrade as it was being carried back to camp and broke into a run again, this time it was a sprint. He was pushing himself to go faster. To get to Clarke before she did something stupid, he'd seen the look on her face when she'd done it, she wasn't okay and he wouldn't let her be alone. When he'd first landed on earth he couldn't run through the woods like this, he'd smash right into a tree and go flying backward but now everything was different, he carved out his own path from Camp Jaha to the drop ship and now weaving through the trees had never felt more free, he was no longer a measly object in the forest but a part of it. Running into the abandoned camp, even as it was empty, he'd never felt more at home, this was where he and the remaining of the hundred belonged, and as soon as they were out of Mt Weather, he'd give them the choice. None of the former delinquents deserved to be thrown back into a society that had locked them up and sent them to die. He could hear her in the drop ship and understood, that was where they had first met, he'd heard the story once or twice, and of course it was in her nature to go back there. Somewhere she could let out her emotions without anyone seeing that she wasn't always strong and level headed. He walked in the door and thought back to how she'd initially told him not open the door, that the air could be toxic, just knowing that she was one of the privileged made him despise her and what she had. But that was the past, that was who they were and it time to start owning who they are.

"Clarke" He called, even though he knew where she was he waited for her to come out "Clarke I came alone, it's just me princess" Everything that happened next happened so quickly he didn't really have time to understand, one minute he was alone on the bottom floor of the drop ship and the next she came storming out using words he'd never heard her use before and hitting him repeatedly until he finally understood, this was her grieving, this was her way of saying she was over everything. That she wasn't 'some fucking princess' as she'd put it. Without thinking he pulled her tight to him, it was the only way he knew how to comfort her, her reaction was the complete opposite to Raven's. Raven fell to the ground, she was upset and torn but Clarke, Clarke was angry, he'd never seen her this angry, they were both heartbroken. As quickly as Raven had removed herself from his arms Clarke broke down. Slowly he lowered them to the ground, worried she was about to lose her feet.

"That's what he called me Bellamy, right before he died, right before I killed him, he called me princess" he heard her whisper into him

"Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things Clarke" He could feel her nod into his shirt before both their heads snapped at movement "I told those damn grounders to stay away" He murmured mostly to himself. But it wasn't a grounder, it was something just as lethal, a very pissed off looking Raven Reyes.

As quickly as Raven had fallen into Bellamy's arms she got out of them, she didn't need him, what she needed was justice. She couldn't believe Clarke had just killed Finn. Finn was her only family, and now he was gone, he was always there for her, and even though they'd drifted apart she didn't love him any less and still felt that driving passion to protect, so when Clarke killed him with the very blade Raven had given she felt some her grabbed her heart and squeezed it as tightly as they could and that someone was Clarke. She heard Bellamy say something about moving her inside and protested, she was not weak

"I'll get in the damn ark myself" But even then she hadn't planned on going inside. She saw Wick motion to her and just as she was about to walk over to him a sight stopped her, they were bringing his body back in, no one said a word as two guards walked him through camp "Be careful with his body, respect the fucking dead" Raven spat and walked over to the section of the electric wall she marked as her own. The part of the wall she'd let Finn get through when he was going to look for Clarke, right before he killed all of those grounders. He may he have killed them but he didn't deserve to die. He was always pro-peace and he snapped, they all had breaking points and that was his. She still cursed herself for letting him leave. It was her idea and for that reason it was partially her responsibility that he'd done this. She'd always joked that one day he was going to get himself killed, but she never actually thought he would. He was a survivor.

"Where you goin' Reyes?" Wick asked her and she shoved him off "Where do you think I'm going"

"Well if you're going to do something stupid you shouldn't do it alone" She didn't protest as Wick silently followed her toward the drop ship, she knew he was there for her even though he was a total pain. Silent tears fell down her face as she marched through the forest, a woman on a mission. She tried not to think of how many times she'd nearly died from her time on earth, the only thing she could think was why couldn't it be her? Seeing Finn die and living to feel the pain was a fate worse than death.

Then it was in view, the drop ship where he'd said his last words to her, that should've been a sign, no one said 'may we meet again' unless they thought they were dying. It was a final goodbye and it wasn't enough for her. It wasn't a good enough farewell to all they'd shared. Without thinking she ran into the drop ship and the sight made her seethe. Her better judgement was gone and her first thought was that Clarke didn't deserve to be upset. She was the one who had turned the knife and killed the only person that was ever there for Raven.

"Raven" It was Bellamy's voice that rang through the drop ship "Before you do anything stupid..."

"Shut up Bellamy, I came here for Clarke not you" Raven didn't even recognise her own voice, never before had she been so void of emotion. Before Bellamy could tell you where to go Clarke finally spoke

"No it's fine Bellamy" Clarke stood and before she could even say anything to Raven she had her slammed against the wall of the drop shit

"Get off her Raven" Before Raven could tell him to back off Clarke protested

"No" At first Raven thought Clarke was saying it to her, telling her to let her go so she tightened her hold on Clarke's neck "Bellamy, Wick, stay back" Raven had never heard Clarke sound so broken, not even after she'd returned from Mt Weather all battered and cut. _No Reyes, you know who you're doing this_ for she told herself, _you're doing this for him. For Finn._ But then Clarke's voice was directed at her

"Raven. I get it, you have every right to be mad at me, but killing me? It won't get you anywhere" Raven knew she was right, even as she was getting choked to death Clarke made sense and a part of her was screaming why was she hurting her friend? But she didn't know what else to do. She didn't even know who she was without him. Raven sat her back down on her feet and slammed her fist into Clarke's face, knocking the blonde to the ground

"You promised me Clarke! YOU PROMISED!" She felt arms wind around her waist and pull her out of the drop ship "Let go of me Wick! Goddamnit let go!" His breath was hot on her ear

"Only if you promise not to go back in there" Raven nodded her head, she wasn't going back in there, her business was done. Now she only had blame for herself "It was all my fault" She whimpered falling to ground in a heap "IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!" She screamed to know, another gut wrenching sob breaking through. No one knew but it was her fault he was on the drop ship in the first. If it wasn't for her stupid mistake he wouldn't have been sent to earth. He would've had a fighting chance, and she wouldn't be feeling this pain.

_**Hours to write, Minutes to Review! **_

_**Okay so that's all from this chapter folks! I will be continuing this as well as my other stories so stay tuned. I couldn't get this idea out of my head and as I was writing it I was crying because I'd just watched the mid-season finale and OMG HOW COULD THEY DO THAT?! Anyone that wants to rant feel free to because part of me died inside because of this episode. **_


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